So this turned out to be a not so typical Monday!
Thank you for loving us so much. Thank you for reaching out and surrounding us with prayers, hope, courage, and love. Thank you for reaching out to my wife; I hope by now you realize Andrea and the boys are the air I breathe and my reason for living. Thank you for thinking of them over me as I have asked you to do. Thank you for texting me and messaging me knowing full well that is what I want. Thank you for understanding I am still me, and asking questions and sharing your sorrows and tribulations in life knowing no situation. It is never cumbersome or overbearing to hear from you. This I promise you.
After I collected my thoughts, I went into battle mode. This situation is not something I am willing to accept, and rightfully so. I called my case manager with my insurance company today, and informed her to expect some preauthorization requests to soon follow for consultations and possible surgeries/biopsies. They are on board and ready for them to be approved. Ironically, Dr. Tap called me to discuss what his doctors thought of the PET scan, and I laid the MRI findings on him.
Obviously, it is all concerning. The PET scan is not overly indicative of disease recurrence, but when weighing between waiting and doing a biopsy, he and his doctors are leaning towards biopsy. He is going to set up an appointment with an interventional radiologist (IR) to discuss biopsy options (sites, locations, risks, etc.). In light of the MRI, he is going to set up a consultation with a neurosurgeon at Sloan-Kettering.
As far as Dr. Ravi, I have not heard from him as of this posting, but I will contact him via phone tomorrow. In the meantime, my amazing cousin and her attending physician are working on getting me in with a wonderful neurosurgeon down at MD Anderson. Just when I thought my travel days were done for a few weeks, this all could change soon, hopefully!
As for me, of course I am scared. Who wouldn’t be? There has been a tremendous load placed upon me right now, and it is a lot to wade through. However, we will make it through. In order to defeat the odds, you must face the odds. That is exactly what we are going to do. Head strong and in full sprint, we will conquer what has been laid before us, again. You won’t allow anything else, and neither will I.
I realize the nature of a single posting with such upsetting news, so it is natural to think about what is happening in our household currently. These thoughts are also another reason I appreciate phone calls, texts, and emails so you can see what cancer cannot do. It cannot stop me from building a road for toy cars and building lego airplanes with my son. It cannot stop me from raising funds against cancer. It cannot stop me from reading Magic School Bus books or playing hid and go seek. It cannot stop me from chasing after two cute little boys. It cannot stop me from having a dance party with my wife and children. And it most definitely cannot stop me from loving my wife and children. All of which we did immediately after I posted about my MRI.
Life doesn’t stop, and it shouldn’t. It is nobody’s fault that this is happening. There is nobody to blame. There is nobody to get angry at. I don’t have time to figure out where to place all of these emotions. Instead, I funnel them all into a passion that is greater than me.
Nobody is remembered in their life for what they as an individual to further themselves. No. They are remembered for how they treat others, help others, and make a difference for the common good of us all. I don’t want to relish in the fact that the cards I was dealt aren’t the best hand to be given. I would rather take what is good and run with it. I would rather show that through good times and bad, you can enjoy what you have chosen to surround yourself with. We all have choices in life, and we build upon all of our decisions by learning, growing, and sharing. It is a blessing to be alive. Live it and love it.
Thank you for all that you do. I love you all so very much.