I very much wish I had better news. The longest week of my life followed by not good news has truly wiped me out.
Dr. Ravi not being there today truly compounds to the issues at hand. I’ve never needed a specialists input more than I do right now.
There are some very suspicious areas that have shown up and are concerning for metastatic disease. Several lymph nodes, thymus and left pleura.
For you to get an idea of what and why, I attached my PET scan results. If we are going off of prior PET results, the findings are not good at all. I emailed Dr. Ravi.
At this time, life is a fog, once again, and I absolutely hate being in this position. You walk around and hear noises in a very busy airport. You hear children laughing, people laughing, people discussing life, business, and you wonder, how can they be so happy when my life is just in shambles, again? You just can’t focus on a single thing, and unfortunately, I am all too familiar with this feeling of pure torture and fear.
With that said, I’m not dead tomorrow, or next week. We have plenty of fight left in us, and fight we will. Please pray because the prayers are working, but just not in the way we think they should. It’s not our plan. It’s God’s plan. It is not wildly metastatic, nor is it effecting any vital organs.
It’s just not my level of comfort at all to be traveling home without a plan or the opinion and well-respected expertise of my specialist. That in and of itself is tearing me apart. Please pray he calls/emails me back. It’s like we are stuck in the middle of a very bad dream and no way to get out until I hear the voice of my doctor.
Please keep my family, especially my beautiful wife and children, in your prayers. If the results are indeed disease recurrence, it is going to be a very tough road ahead. We will let you know more when I hear back from Dr. Ravi.
I love you all, so very much. Do not be discouraged by the lack of the very much expected and anticipated results of NED. We will get there again.
I love you. And thank you for caring so much. I know I don’t have to say this, but I want to: please give me a little time to respond to all of your amazing messages. We are strength in numbers, and we will beat this….again.
Please don’t be ashamed to like this status or comment. It lets me know who and where I reached because so many of you amazing people have been worrying and texting.
If it makes you feel better, I love little cute bunny rabbits. You can like that part of my status.
We love you.