Gamma Knife #5

13083351_10208272026070979_6990552492675996994_nGood evening! I hope this message finds your lives full of purpose and meaning. I hope that, no matter your age or walk in life, you have surrounded yourself with caring, uplifting, and inspiring people. I know I have, and I can thank you all for that.

I sincerely apologize for the delay in getting this message and update out. It’s been a crazy few days, but that is no excuse. I have built a platform where I like to keep everyone updated, informed and in the know because I get as much out of it as you do.

With that said, one of the downfalls of having the MRI early morning with consults the same day is that the scan will most likely not be read and finalized. Unfortunately, this was the case. I’m a factual and detail-oriented person, and I like to have all the pieces (or most if possible) before giving an update. This saves time and energy on both ends, and I hope it avoids missteps and incorrect information. It can be very easy to embellish emotionally if all the facts aren’t there. I try my best to avoid giving emotionally charged updates, and if I do, it’s only the positive parts and how to battle on.

Once again, we didn’t get the news we had hope for, but we also didn’t get overly devastating news either. Unfortunately, a new spot has developed in my brain. It is about 1.8cm by 3.0 cm located within my left hippocampus. Besides this spot, all previously treated lesions are stable, and no additional spots were remarked upon. I am asymptomatic which is always a very big blessing.

This lesion is more central than any previous lesion, but according to Dr. Li, there is enough clearance between it and the brain stem. With that in mind, it also fits within the size parameters for gammaknife. As you may have guessed by now, we are going in for gammaknife #5.

Thanks be to God, we have assembled a top-notch and fast acting medical team. I have to do my part on my end with insurance, travel, etc, but together we are able to get things scheduled quickly. Gammaknife is scheduled for this Wednesday, May 4. All of my travel has been arranged. We are ready to get it done!

As a side note, I have to stop chemo momentarily because one of the drugs (Gemcitabine) is reactive with radiation. We fully plan on starting up chemo once I get the okay. That would finish round 71, and it would be time for another PET scan. Talk about an emotional and stressful month!

I’m living and making memories, and it is for that reason that I can do this and the hardships are well worth it. No matter what we are going through and what trials and tribulations come our way, we can only live one day at time. When tough times fall upon us, shorten you window and don’t think too far ahead. Focus on the task at hand and take full advantage of this current and beautiful day.

I texted a few people once we had most of the facts in the hopes that it would slowly make it’s way to people’s hearts and minds. My sister and I discussed briefly about my emotions and how could I possibly have any energy left to convey my feelings. My answer to her was something I’ve learned and a skill I’ve acquired over the years.

Truth be told, I haven’t cried in a very long time. We’ve been through a lot, and we continue to endure and conquer. I also don’t get excited with good new. I’ve learned the best thing to do is stay in the middle. Don’t ride the roller coaster that can so easily consume ones mind. Figure out a plan. Pick up the pieces, if any. Move forward and fight.

We’ve been here before. We will beat it back again.

If we could steal a few moments of your time, please pray for our family. Please pray for piece of mind. Please pray that gammaknife is beyond successful again with no lasting side effects. Please pray for God’s healing hand to live a long life with the beautiful family He has given me. Looking forward, please pray the chemo is working and that my ensuing PET scan shows positive results for a disease that is losing it’s battle.

Thank you for always loving us, caring for us, and carrying our burdens when the road gets rough.

We love you all so very much.

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2 Responses to Gamma Knife #5

  1. Renee Levasseur says:

    Praying for you. God has more plans for you and your family

  2. Leann and Glen Kirkendall says:

    It is so good to hear from you, Ryan. I pray for you and Andi and family every day, but it is always good to know just what is going on in your life. Thank you for taking the time to do so. We’ll just keep on praying.
    Love,
    Leann (and Glen,too)

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