Sorry if my story seems out of balance, please bare with me as I have ADHD and my thoughts are random at times. 😀
Greetings, my name is Aaron and I am by far the most rebellious brother that Ryan has ever come to know. However, if you hear my story of how I strive to become great, it might point you in the right direction of what kind of significance Ryan can have in anyone’s life. This is more or less a biography of my life to explain how much of a significance Ryan has done for it.
I love to tease Ryan, even till this day, spite of everything. For some reason, I have always made it a goal to torture Ryan by annoying him constantly from my birth to present day. Back when we were all children is where it all started, really. Ryan would LOVE legos when he was young and he would just build the most IMMACULATE lego cities and train sets. I always made it a goal to sneak into his room and stomp and kick it all, ruin it, only to run away knowing Ryan would chase me. lol. Golly, we were all the prime example of brothers and sisters trying to gain attention. It didn’t end there, not by a long shot.
I remember teasing my brothers Ryan and Jason so much, that it drove them nuts and they tended to get back at me in the most cruel ways. My favorite story to bring up with Ryan and Jason is the story of when they were teaching me how to jump off ramps with bikes. Back in the day, some of you could know the house we used to live on, on Aspinwall, in Troy. There was a trailer parked on the side of the house leading into our backyard. Well, Jason and Ryan were jumping off the trailer with their bikes into the backyard. Here I am, wide eyed, full of curiousity and excitement, thinking how awesome my brothers looked. I can’t remember what I asked them, but I wanted to know how they were doing it. They both told me verbatim, “Once you get right to the edge, buddy, lean all the way forward to jump off!” So picture this, here I am, training wheels and all, going full speed on my bike to the edge, lean forward, and faceplant onto the ground from the air. haha.
I remember my favorite teddy bear as well. An old brown one with fuzzy ears of course. They used to throw it on the roof to tease me. haha.
We moved since then, to a house on Wattles road. It didn’t end at Aspinwall. Ever. He never let me play his precious Zelda Ocarina of Time game. I used to get so mad that I would delete his saved files.
You may think this is all so cruel of them, it is pleasantly laughable after knowing how far Ryan and I have come to know one another later in life.
If you knew us back then, you would know the hardships our family was facing. Ryan was strong, and stuck up for our mother, everyday. I never knew when I was young how hard I was on the family when I did so many things selfishly to them. Only till lately do I understand that Ryan was one of the biggest father figures in my life all along.
To explain, if you know me at all, you would know that I used to do illegal drugs, been kicked out of parent’s houses, and kept losing all of my money. If you’re looking for a handheld account of a person turning their life around because of a mentor, this is it.
Ryan has been my mentor since I can ever remember. I go to him with every problem I have. I cry to him, show him my feelings, my problems, my concerns, and even my depression. I have bore so much onto his shoulders that I can’t even fathom how to repay him. If it was serious, he was there and he is usually always right about his answers.
Girl problems? He fixed them. He changed so much about my romantic loving side that I am a completely different person today. Laughable, I have made so many mistakes in relationships that each time I have made one, Ryan would be there to explain why they went wrong and completely brought everything out of the shadows of grey.
This is the part that makes me cry:
If there was anyone in my life that I wanted someone to be proud of me, Ryan would be the first. For so long I have envied Ryan’s happiness and strived to have his success. Only till a couple years ago that I realized that I can only get it by making myself happy and proud of myself first. With all the things I have to fix about my life, it has become so overwhelming. My brother has clarified this so well for me and it is so much easier now. I can only do things one step at a time and one goal at a time. I cannot achieve everything at once as he once said
So I did, and it is all because of him, really. My drugs are gone (6 or 7 years clean now). My driving record. My finances. My judgments on whether a girl is right for me or not. Sure, I still make mistakes, but Ryan has taught me that everyone does and you learn from every one of them so there is no real reason to fret. Everytime I get an A on an exam in college, the first person I call is Ryan of course. I get so excited that I want to run out of class when I receive my grade and call him even before I get to my car. He doesn’t fall short of being a person to look up to and if you have the chance, it is so rewarding to know he is excited for you and smiling with you.
The guy is a straight edge dude ever since I gained reason of my thoughts. He knows what he wants, and doesn’t stop until he’s there. In my eyes, he goes to school to be a pilot. He get’s his license and later on isn’t able to fly. He pretty much says, ‘PFT!’, moves on, and applies in medical instead. haha. Again, he doesn’t fall short of expectations at all. Proposing to a girl? He knew what he wanted. Make it remembered and talked about even years after he does it. Puts a goal in his mind: Hawaii. Done. He then proposes to his girlfriend in Hawaii under a waterfall. Some may think that a guy like this just got lucky. Not in our family. We strive for everything we want and make it happen on our own accord.
He isn’t quick on his actions either. He thinks each one out carefully as well. Most people that get married would get ecstatic and have a baby right away. Not this guy. You think he wants the best for just his wife? No way. He made it a point to give his son some time so he can give the best to him as well. Like I said, not much falls short with this guy.
I should make this story come to a close at some point or another, though. To share my thoughts, I keep asking myself if all this is real or if he is going to survive this. Of course everyone is worried, as I am. I tend to look at myself and what Ryan has done in my own life to answer these questions. I have come so far and I am still standing to this day. I am still alive and I keep kicking to be somebody and recover from my past mistakes. I think to myself each time and realize how much of a part Ryan had in making me this way. Knowing Ryan so far, I am not afraid of the outcome at all lately. This guy is truly a tank. He just doesn’t stop, lol. He just doesn’t. He’s not going to stop surprising you and leave you scratching your head in bewilderment. He’s going to survive this. The reasoning is… it’s Ryan. What hasn’t he NOT achieved as a goal he put forth?
Ryan, I mean all of this if it is posted. You are my real inspiration above all else. I have more of a relationship with you then anyone else and that is what I cherish you for. I have used so many people in our family in the past and burned so many bridges. You have given me everything but materialistic things. I used to be so selfish and wanted everything from everyone because I thought that it was going to help me become somebody someday. I need a car I said, ‘help me’. I need a job, I said, “help me.” The real reason I have changed my life around is because you gave me everything but these things. You alone helped me understand that I am changing my life around not by money or jobs or cars but by my attitude alone. I can get all of these things by myself when I want it that bad on my own. For some reason, I fear your disappointment in the things I decide on then anyone else’s. Lately, that fear is not a surprise anymore. I hope that I can resemble you one day and continue to make you proud. One step at a time, right
Love you more then paragraphs can say.
Your younger brother who almost died on my training wheels,